Life Coaching and Career Coaching

Today, many people find their lives thrown into chaos when they loss of their jobs. The loss is more than a stream of income, it is a threat to their self identity. For most people, their job defines who they are. Is this you?

Losing your job is like graduating high school and waiting to hear about going on to college, applying to the military and waiting to be accepted, or looking for that first job all over again. You were somebody in high school and now you are nobody, or so you think. But are you?

You are the only one who knows what you are worth to yourself. Other only see you for what you might be worth to them.

As a freelancer most of my life, I have been employed and unemployed many times. It happens every time a contract expires and new one has not yet come through. I have learned to use these times to step back, evaluate what I accomplished, and reassess my goals.

I also use it to assess my environment. I see this as an opportunity to take charge of my fate. I ask myself: Where is market for my skills and interests going? Is it time to change my employment strategy? And in this process, I have made a personal discovery I want to share with you.

I am the sole/soul proprietor of my life. My life is the time God has allocated to me in this world. It is a gift card with an undisclosed time limit. I own it and I can sell it. I sell part of it every time I take a job, form a relationship, or use it for myself.

How much is my time worth? It is worth what I need to accomplish what I want to accomplish in my time/life.

Too often, especially these days, we don’t have the time to reflect on where we are going or where we have been. It is like being caught in the wrong lane on the freeway at rush hour. Sometimes we miss our exit and when we finally get off we are lost, just like Tom Hanks in Bonfire of the Vanities

God gave me the freewill to be the sole proprietor of my soul. It is my responsibility to make the best of it.Taking the time to know what I want to accomplish, and what I have accomplished, has been a critical step in my life’s journey.

Janus says

If unemployment depression is setting in, I suggest that you find a mentor, or a life coach, at this time. Don’t be afraid or ashamed to ask for direction. He or she can help you find direction to bring you back to the life path to take you on the journey toward your goal.

Januslifecoaching.com is one such service you can turn to for help.

Is your life in balance?

Recently I was at a Toastmasters Club Meeting and the speaker describe an event of watching a rope walker, a man who mounted a rope suspended between two trees and began to walk from one end to the other. The speaker was impressed and curious by the performance. He asked the rope walker how he did it. The roper walker invited the speaker to try it.

The speaker got onto the rope next to the tree where one end was tied. After a few false starts, he succeeded in mounting the rope and maintaining his balance. He looked straight ahead, placed one foot directly in front of the other and spread his arms out straight at the shoulders. The rope swayed but he held his balance.

He slowly moved his back leg around placing in front and moved forward. The rope swayed again but he retained his balance. He repeated the moment once more. This time the rope swayed more violantly and the speakers legs swayed to and fro. Keeping his arms out he maintained his balance as the swaying slowed. The further he moved down the rope and away from the tree, the greater the swaying with each step.

Again, he brought his rear leg forward but this time the swaying increased. He looked down at the rope,  his legs stiffened and he brought his arms in closer to his body in an vain attempt to dampen the swaying. He fell off.

The rope walker explained that in order to successfully walk the rope you have to be focused. To be focused requires that you allow yourself to become part of the rope. First,  relax your legs to make them part of the rope and they will absorb the energy that moving your leg forward releases into the rope. Second,  spread your arms out perpendicular to the rope to distribute your weight across the rope and making your body the center of gravity. By extending your arms you can control the swing. And, third, most of all, look straight ahead, focus on the end of the rope tied to the other tree.  When you loss your focus, you loss your balance. This, the speaker said, is how the rope walker keeps his balance and can walk between the trees

Balance is what it is all about. That is what life is all about. Balancing your ego and needs  with your obligations and responsibilities to others.

The greatest balancing act we face in life is balancing our personal life goals and our professional goals. It is an act that only becomes more complex as we age. The sooner you start to learn how to balance yourself, then the better and more productive you will be in the time allotted to you in this life.

Toward the end of the second decade  in our lifecycle, say our late teens and early twenties, we are, or tend to be, very self-center. We want what we want and we want it now. Our personal goals are fairly short term and ill defined. Our professional goals are equally ill defined, if we have any at all, except where it comes to making money to support our immediate personal “needs.” This is when we get onto the rope, leaving the security of our family. We are drawn to the thrill and  uncertainty that comes with the independence  of  ”adulthood.”  While we are glancing into the future. our attention is more focused on breaking our connections with the past that we perceive as holding us back.

Around our mid to late twenties, if we are lucky, we have become independent and self supporting. We can experiment with life, take chances, and live a movie version of the hero in our own drama. Or we may find that we have made a few wrong turns and are now caught in a trap of our own making, one we may spend the rest of our life trying to escape. In either case, we have not yet addressed the issue of balance. In many respects this can be the biggest mistake we can make and introduce chaos into our life.

What we do and how we do it, in this our third decade of life,  set the “initial” conditions which will determine how our life will work out. Without a goal to focus on, without priorities, we, like the speaker who would be a rope walker, can slip and fall. What in chaos theory is referred to as the butterfly effect.

Janus says

What is your life goal?

What are your priorities?

Where is your balance?

Do you have a rope walker who can  helping you to navigate the rope of your life?

Have you ever had an epiphany?

Here is a simple story about Henry. Henry had one.

Henry is a simple man. He has a good paying job, a nice home, stable marriage and friends. He is in good health. Henry has no opinions of his own, only what the media and others tell him.  He does as he is told.

Henry is an ordinary man who worries about money, his job, the economy. He worries about his marriage and what people think about him. He worries about his health, his age, his lack of energy. He has unrealized dreams.

“I just don’t have that old spark.” He tells himself.

One day this past Spring, Henry’s wife said. “Henry, Time to mow the lawn.” So Henry went to his shed and got the lawn mower out. Since this would be the season’s first cutting, he decided to check out the mower.

He checked the gas tank. It was nearly empty. Retrieving the gas can, he filled the gas tank and replaced the gas cap tightly.  He pushed the primer button several times and then pulled the crank cord.

Nothing!   He pulled again.  Nothing!  Again, and Nothing!

“Better prime it again,” Henry said.

He pushed the primer several more times. Then he pulled hard on the crank cord. The engine coughed, puffed a cloud of blue smoke, then it died.

“Blue smoke!“

Henry tried again but to no avail.

“Better check the oil.”

He opened the oil cap, pulled out the dip stick, and wiped it. He put it back in, then withdrew it. The stick showed full. The oil was clear. He put the stick back tightening the cap.

“Huh! “He thought. “Gas — Ok!  Oil — Ok! What else could it be? “

He tried to start the engine again, still nothing.

“The engine isn’t catching.” “Spark plug!?” He had had this problem before.

Henry went back to the shed and returned with a spark plug wrench. He disconnected the spark plug cap and with the wrench, he pulled the old spark plug and inspected it. The tip was black with carbon.

“Ah! This must be the problem.”

He took a rag. Put some gasoline on it and wiped the spark plug and cleaned the points. Smiling to himself, he reinstalled the plug, reconnected it. Priming the engine again — he gave the crank rope a hard jerk

Cough, cough, Nothing!

Now Henry was getting very frustrated and angry. He had had this mower for 10 years. He did all the things people told him to do to keep it running. He fed it gas, he change the oil when needed, and he cleaned the spark plug. These had always worked, just like they told him.

“I don’t need this,” “I don’t need this.” He felt totally defeated.

He began to worry, “Will I have to buy a new mower? Or may be I have to spend a small fortune to a small engine repair service — if I can find one?  He looked at the old machine once more.

Henry called his wife to come out and look at the mower. He was afraid she wouldn’t believe him when he said the mower wouldn’t work.

She walked around the old machine and noticed a panel cover attached by screw. “What’s this for,” she asked.

Henery had not “seen” or noticed it before. He got a screw driver and unscrewed it. The cover folded down and revealed a metal screen sealed with a blue rubber gasket around the edge. He removed the screen and inspected it. On the back was accordion folded paper filter. A layer of dirt, grim, flecks of grass and leaves bonded by oil, and water, had collected on the surface. It was thickly layered in between the paper folds.

Suddenly, he knew what to do!

“It can’t breathe!”

Taking the screw driver Henry cleaned out each fold. Thick mats of crud fell out as he passed the screw drive down the fold. After removing the crud, Henry reinstalled the old filter.

Henry tightened the screw on the cover. He primed the engine, and pulled the crank rope.

BANG, POP, a cloud of blue smoke, putt, putt putt, putt putt putt, ROAR. PurrrrrRRRRRRR.

The engine jumped to life. As he pushed the machine around the yard, he smiled.

“I’ll have to buy a new one when I finish,” he thought. Henry had had an epiphany.

——

What is an epiphany?

It is “A sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience.”

——-

Reflecting on his discovery, Henry realized that his spirit, was like the mower’s air filter. It was clogged with the crud of his accumulated worries, doubts and other people’s opinions.  Henry determined to clean his spiritual filter so that he could start living and breathing again.

Have you had an epiphany? Would you recognize one if it happened?

Janus says

Sometime it takes a comment or observation from someone else to trigger the revelation, insight or epiphany in you. This is what a life coach can do for you.

Give it a thought.

If you have questions, please contact us.

What one sees and does not see will often surprise you. This story came via an email that was sent out to several hundred on a mailing list. I almost ignore it as a piece of political xenophobic reactionary propaganda, so common in these times.

But for some reason I took the time to read through it. I was both amazed and yet surprising not surprised by the lesson it  teaches about the modern Homo americanus urbana.

….something to think about…

Washington, DC Metro Station on a cold January morning in 2007. The man with a violin played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time approx. 2 thousand people went through the station, most of them on their way to work. After 3 minutes a middle aged man noticed there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried to meet his schedule. 4 minutes later: the violinist received his first dollar: a woman threw the money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk. 6 minutes: A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.

10 minutes:

A 3-year old boy stopped but his mother tugged him along hurriedly. The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. Every parent, without exception, forced their children to move on quickly.

45 minutes:

The musician played continuously.  Only 6 people stopped and listened for a short while. About 20 gave money but continued to walk at their normal pace…  The man collected a total of $32.

1 hour:

He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before Joshua Bell sold out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100.

This is a true story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people’s priorities. The questions raised: in a common place environment at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?

Janus says

One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be this:  If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made…. How many other things are we missing?

How long is your life cycle?

Knowing your estimated longevity is critical for taking control of your life. The Janus Life Cycle Strategy is based on  knowing where you  are currently in your life cycle and your estimated length of  life.

On a piece of paper write down the following:

The average life expectancy of an American is ____78.5____

How old am I?   (write down your age)          ___________

How long do I have to live?    (78.5 - age)        ___________

This is a rough estimate of your longevity. Your individual life expectancy may vary significantly from the average.

Knowing what you have accomplished, and what you have done to yourself so far in your life, defines who you are TODAY. This identifies the risk group you should be compared to when determining your average life expectancy.   This will give you a more accurate estimate of the time you may have to:

(1) accomplish what you set out to do with your life; and more important,

(2) take charge of your life and maybe extending your life by changing your risk group.

Remember that today is the first day of the rest of your life. That is true today and it will be true tomorrow.

When you REGISTER with Janus Life Coaching, you qualify to have FREE access to a wide range of resources to assess your risk group and begin to manage your life cycle and your life. We continue to assemble and make available resources to help our members manage their lives.

Longevity Explained

Your life cycle is the period between your conception (birth) and your death.  Normally, and the insurance industry depend on this, you will live a normal (average) life span for a person with your characteristics. Some individual life cycles are cut short by accidents or disease.  This is the tragedy of war, accidents, disease and violence.

Your normal characteristics are your genetic potential (heredity), your behavior (lifestyle), and your activity (risk exposure). Insurance companies spend a lot of money to refine their knowledge of each of these categories to determine the differences within and between categories. They then use this information to “value” the risk that you will make it average age for your classification.

Life Insurance and You

That’s what insurance companies do — they offer you the opportunity to bet against yourself living as long as is normal for people just like you. And, when you buy the contract, you are betting against yourself. You are betting that you will die before the others just like you do. They profit from this information, why shouldn’t you?

This is the financial side to knowing why the length of your life cycle is important.

Personal Responsibility and You

On the personal side, knowing what your life expectancy can be wonderful and frightening. Wonderful because it would allow you to plan your life and have greater control over how you invested and spent your time.  Frightening because knowing with certainty the time you will die would imposes  tremendous responsibility and burden on you.

Luckily, neither you nor the  insurance company know exactly how long your life cycle will be.

But wouldn’t it be helpful to know, in general terms, just how much time you have left. Wouldn’t it make you stop and consider what you are doing now with your life?  Wouldn’t it make you ask, “What do I want to accomplish in my remaining time?

People, who come through a near death experience, report themselves asking.

“What if I had died?”

“Why did I survive?”

“What have I accomplished in my life time?”

“Would I be leaving my loved ones better or worse off without me?”

Asking such questions can lead to significant changes in one’s outlook on life and behavior. You don’t need to survive a near death experience in order to ask yourself the same questions.

Janus says

By  answering these questions for yourself, you can take responsibility for you life today .

YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE — IF YOU WANT TO!!!

REGISTER TODAY

Why is a life cycle approach a powerful tool for evaluating and planning your life experience?

A recent news story ,  “Recession might make young investors gun-shy”, reports on studies that show people who start their investing or continue to invest in their retirement plans today in the depressed stock market stand to gain in the long term while those who invested at the height of the markets stand to loss if they withdraw today.

I can relate to this. Years ago I had the opportunity to be employed in an organization that offered a retirement program. I contributed to it regularly and stayed there long enough to become vested in the program. The small personal investment I made through my contributions were doubled when I became vested.

Over the next 30 years this initial investment grew. And while I have not contributed to the plan since leaving the organization — today that plan has accumulated enough value to provide me with a cushion in my retirement.  Had I started investing 5 years ago, or even 10 years ago, I would not have weathered the recent economic meltdown.

Just as investing at the right time can make a big difference in later retirement or family plans, any decision we make will have a differential playoff depending when we start or stop some action or activity.

Taking up golf when you are in high school or college will open opportunities that starting at 50 will be closed to you. Waiting to have children until your late 30’s or early 40’s will produce a different experience and challenge than having your children at 15, 25, or 30.

The choices you make, and when you make them, strongly impact your life course and your chances for success and failure.

Sometimes it seems like we are in control.  Other times, it seems like fate is in control. We exploit our opportunities. We withdraw or defend ourselves against threats. Our hopes and  fears are made real by what, when and where we exercise our choices.

We are always making choices in our daily lives. More often than not, these are made in the spur of the moment and with not much thought about the longer term consequences. This is our habituated behavior. This is not only natural, but it has had survival value for our Homo sapiens ancestors as well as the modern shopper.

But not today, not in the emerging global economy and cybernetically networked virtual world of  human/machine interface.

An event that once traveled slowly over relatively short distances, now travels instantaneously globally. Choices made in a moment of passion or despair and soon forgotten, now become sealed in the global memory forever, or at least until someone pulls the plug.

The life you want to lead and the life you live are determined by how you use your time and when you use it.

I speak from personal experience. If we are not aware of the natural cycle our life is following — we risk losing out on many of the joys and challenges that life offers.

When we say that YOUR LIFE IS YOUR BUSINESS, this what we mean. Your life up until this moment is a record of what you have done — it is your balance sheet in the game of life.  Do you know your score?

Have you taken the time to check your balance sheet?

Janus says

Maybe it is TIME that you did.