Life Coaching and Career Coaching

Life is a challenge.
Every day we face problems that must be solved; issues, we are asked to take a stand on. As a free, sovereign individual, you and I are expected to make decisions for ourselves, to take responsibility for our decisions and to be held accountable for the results of our decisions. That is, we have choices.

Decision making involves making choices. Choices are value judgments, and value judgments are subjective, relativistic evaluations of our experiences. Our evaluations are not always rational although we may try to rationalize them to ourselves and others.

Economists assume that humans are totally rationale creatures. They act in their enlightened self interest based on perfect knowledge about the situation. Such creatures act to maximize the “utility” or value of their choices. If you or I acted this way, we would be the perfect “economic man/woman.”. This would make the life of economists so much simpler.

But we are not, Thank God!

We are animals, albeit, the TOP ANIMAL, on the planet. Part of our animal nature is to respond emotionally to the challenges in our immediate environment. We are biologically and psychologically programmed to make decisions that favor our survival — “the survival instinct.”

Here the economists are correct in their assumption that the “individual” acts in his/her own self interest. But, what that “self-interest” is, does not always prove to be rational. That is, it is not rational in a long term or from the “economic man or woman” perspective.

Survival is a short term challenge, while Life is a long term goal. Survival calls for action; life calls for planning.

When we respond to our immediate fears, we are responding emotionally to some perceived survival threat. “I won’t raise my hand, so I won’t be noticed.” “I really don’t think I want to go there or eat THAT food.” “No way, I’m going to New York with all that violence I see on TV.”

When we satisfy our short term wants and needs, we also respond emotionally to some perceived survival opportunity. “I just can’t miss this sale.” “That dessert looks soooo good! I’ll diet tomorrow.” “She/he has the sexiest hot bod I’ve ever seen, I’ve got to …”

Each choice we make, no matter how small no matter how apparently inconsequential, has long term consequences. Each choice sets the conditions for our future choices. Each choice is the starting point for the next challenge and next decision. This how we create our own fate, our karma. The consequences of our choices shape our attitudes toward ourselves, others and the world. The consequences of our experiences slowly form the layers of our personality. Like the rings of a tree, the layers of an onion, or the strata of the Grand Canyon, our experience form the layers of our perceptions, habits and biases. These become the standards we apply in our decision making and evaluation of our choices.

We have choices.

You have choices.

What choices are you making?

Are you still making the same old decisions? And, are you still getting the same undesirable results?

Janus says

Understanding why and how you make your choices is the first step in learning how to make better decisions in your life.

The Janus Life Coaching approach helps you to peel away the layers of perception and begin the process of making better choices and achieving better outcomes.

Have you ever had an epiphany?

Here is a simple story about Henry. Henry had one.

Henry is a simple man. He has a good paying job, a nice home, stable marriage and friends. He is in good health. Henry has no opinions of his own, only what the media and others tell him.  He does as he is told.

Henry is an ordinary man who worries about money, his job, the economy. He worries about his marriage and what people think about him. He worries about his health, his age, his lack of energy. He has unrealized dreams.

“I just don’t have that old spark.” He tells himself.

One day this past Spring, Henry’s wife said. “Henry, Time to mow the lawn.” So Henry went to his shed and got the lawn mower out. Since this would be the season’s first cutting, he decided to check out the mower.

He checked the gas tank. It was nearly empty. Retrieving the gas can, he filled the gas tank and replaced the gas cap tightly.  He pushed the primer button several times and then pulled the crank cord.

Nothing!   He pulled again.  Nothing!  Again, and Nothing!

“Better prime it again,” Henry said.

He pushed the primer several more times. Then he pulled hard on the crank cord. The engine coughed, puffed a cloud of blue smoke, then it died.

“Blue smoke!“

Henry tried again but to no avail.

“Better check the oil.”

He opened the oil cap, pulled out the dip stick, and wiped it. He put it back in, then withdrew it. The stick showed full. The oil was clear. He put the stick back tightening the cap.

“Huh! “He thought. “Gas — Ok!  Oil — Ok! What else could it be? “

He tried to start the engine again, still nothing.

“The engine isn’t catching.” “Spark plug!?” He had had this problem before.

Henry went back to the shed and returned with a spark plug wrench. He disconnected the spark plug cap and with the wrench, he pulled the old spark plug and inspected it. The tip was black with carbon.

“Ah! This must be the problem.”

He took a rag. Put some gasoline on it and wiped the spark plug and cleaned the points. Smiling to himself, he reinstalled the plug, reconnected it. Priming the engine again — he gave the crank rope a hard jerk

Cough, cough, Nothing!

Now Henry was getting very frustrated and angry. He had had this mower for 10 years. He did all the things people told him to do to keep it running. He fed it gas, he change the oil when needed, and he cleaned the spark plug. These had always worked, just like they told him.

“I don’t need this,” “I don’t need this.” He felt totally defeated.

He began to worry, “Will I have to buy a new mower? Or may be I have to spend a small fortune to a small engine repair service — if I can find one?  He looked at the old machine once more.

Henry called his wife to come out and look at the mower. He was afraid she wouldn’t believe him when he said the mower wouldn’t work.

She walked around the old machine and noticed a panel cover attached by screw. “What’s this for,” she asked.

Henery had not “seen” or noticed it before. He got a screw driver and unscrewed it. The cover folded down and revealed a metal screen sealed with a blue rubber gasket around the edge. He removed the screen and inspected it. On the back was accordion folded paper filter. A layer of dirt, grim, flecks of grass and leaves bonded by oil, and water, had collected on the surface. It was thickly layered in between the paper folds.

Suddenly, he knew what to do!

“It can’t breathe!”

Taking the screw driver Henry cleaned out each fold. Thick mats of crud fell out as he passed the screw drive down the fold. After removing the crud, Henry reinstalled the old filter.

Henry tightened the screw on the cover. He primed the engine, and pulled the crank rope.

BANG, POP, a cloud of blue smoke, putt, putt putt, putt putt putt, ROAR. PurrrrrRRRRRRR.

The engine jumped to life. As he pushed the machine around the yard, he smiled.

“I’ll have to buy a new one when I finish,” he thought. Henry had had an epiphany.

——

What is an epiphany?

It is “A sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience.”

——-

Reflecting on his discovery, Henry realized that his spirit, was like the mower’s air filter. It was clogged with the crud of his accumulated worries, doubts and other people’s opinions.  Henry determined to clean his spiritual filter so that he could start living and breathing again.

Have you had an epiphany? Would you recognize one if it happened?

Janus says

Sometime it takes a comment or observation from someone else to trigger the revelation, insight or epiphany in you. This is what a life coach can do for you.

Give it a thought.

If you have questions, please contact us.